Prioritizing Your Life - Day 6

When you sit down at the end of the day and think back over what you have done and accomplished, what attitude do you have about it? Are you smug? Proud? Bragging on yourself and to yourself about the control you have over yourself and those around you? I know for me that many times this has been my attitude. I am so full of myself that I forget that I am not in control and that when I try to be in control, it means I am totally out of God's will for my life.

I am teaching a Bible study right now to a group of young women and the experience has been amazing, wonderful, and very humbling. I thought that I was doing this for them, but God is showing me more and more each day that I am the one who needs this study and He is reminding me that He is in control and knows so much better than me what I need. In fact, that's how we get to the topic of control today. As I was studying last night I read the following written by Donna Partow "As long as we're operating on wrong motives or just flying on autopilot, we're leaving God behind." Ouch! That's me! And boy did admitting that hurt. I know I'm not the only one out there doing this. How many days do you just get up, go through the motions of the day and then come home totally exhausted by what the world has done to you and your only thought is at least at home I'm safe.

I don't know about you, but personally, I'm tired of living that way. I want to turn that control back over to God where it belongs and live my life as He wants me to, not as the world tells me I must. Yes, I realize that I have to live in the world, but it does not have to control my conduct, my mood, my reactions to the things that happen around me, and it does not have to steal the joy that I am promised as a child of God.

Today I take back my life. I take back my happiness and I stand firm that with God in control nothing can shake me, break me or take me away from Him. His scripture tells us that we are hidden under his wings.

. . . How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing."

Luke 13:34b (NRSV)

But I think that sometimes we don't believe that and in stubbornness or disobedience we step out from that protection and then are surprised by what happens to us. Once again back to Donna Partow: "When we're trying to do 'great things for God' what we're really doing is pursuing our own agenda..." Ouch, again. That one hurts, too, because once we step outside God's protection and do it on our own we take back control and He is both disappointed, and, sometimes angry with us because we think we know better than the God of the universe what we should do.

Today I want to leave you with this thought, 6. If you really are the child of God you say you are, then why is giving Him total control of your life such an ominous thought. I pray that you will, as I am going to, that God will be Lord over all my life, not just the convenient parts. Because this walk of priorities is all about control. Who has it - God, or you?

Psalm 46:1 ...God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. 4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High. 5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early. 6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted. 7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

Prioritizing Your Life - Day 5

I got another one of those calls from the nursing home the other day, but this one came at 5:15am on a Saturday morning. The question the nurse asked me took me by surprise and I was at once consumed with anger and frustration. Not a great way to start a Saturday, or any day for that matter, but unfortunately the way many of my days begin. Although I had plans with friends to run a race that morning and to go an outdoor festival later in the day, I found myself instead showering hurriedly and rushing to see what was up with mom. What I found was her in pain and sunburned because someone had been negligent the day before. Turned out the burns were second degree, and we spent most of the day in the ER pumping her full of fluids so that she wouldn't dehydrate and go into shock. I was a basket case, and all she wanted to know was when the plane was going to land. She was tired of flying and wanted to go home.

Why do I tell you this story? Because God is teaching me a valuable lesson through this experience. The lesson... I am not in control. He is. You'd think I would have learned this one by now, wouldn't you, but apparently I haven't. Because He keeps bringing it back again and again and I keep failing miserably.

The reason I fail is because I drop everything and go to her thinking that my presence will make a difference. As if I alone can make her better even though the Parkinson's and dementia continue to take her further and further from me. Maybe if I give up everything else and martyr myself to her, then I can change the outcome of this drama we are living.

God sees if differently. And He intends to keep replaying this scene as many times as it takes for me to understand. He controls this, not me. He decides when and where and how the final chapter will be played and no amount of sacrifice I make will change that. David tells us in Psalm 51:16-17:

You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.
The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

So far God hasn't gotten that from me. What He has gotten is frustration, indignation, pleading and begging. Not once have I come before Him broken asking Him to show me what He wants me to do in this situation. Not once have I admitted to Him that I am not in control. I have bargained, promised and cursed, but not given up control. And, He is making it more and more plain to me that until I do, we will continue to play out this chapter of the story until I get it right.

He has reminded me many times this week that He doesn't need me to rescue my mom or my husband or my children. What He does command me to do is to worship Him. To be the woman He created me to be and to let Him be the God that He desires to be in my life. I am reminded over and over that I am the one with the problem here, not Him.

So today's lesson in prioritizing your life is this:

5. Give God control of ALL areas of your life so that He can be glorified in all you do and all you are. He is God, you are not. Listen for His voice and hear Him. As David prays in Psalm 130:5-6:

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,