So, Thursday on my way to work my phone rings. It is the charge nurse at the nursing home where my mom lives, and it is never good when she calls. When I see the number on my caller id, the guilt immediately sets in. I hadn't seen mom since the weekend and if something had happened, I knew I would never be able to forgive myself. I had only left my doctor (whose office is two blocks from the nursing home) five minutes before, but didn't stop to visit because I didn't want to miss any more work. So much for learning to let go!!!
I answered the call with trepidation, worried about what I would hear on the other end. The nurse's voice was apologetic as she told me that mom had fallen again trying to get out of bed by herself! The woman hasn't been able to walk in two years and yet she is thinking she can get up and dress herself. I was assured that mom was okay, only bruised, and so I went on to work. These calls have become way too routine over the last couple of years for me to continue to drop everything and run to her side when I get a call that she has fallen. I saw my mom that afternoon after work, and sure enough, she was fine. Bruised badly, totally in another time, but happy as a lark. All she wanted to know was if my son had ever shown back up from his trip to Australia, and when was he going to come visit her! Talk about learning to let go.
There are times when I am envious of my mom for so quickly being able to forget the bad things that happen to her and being able to focus on just what is important (in this case, seeing her grandson). Although dementia is a horrible disease, in this instance it reminds me of how God responds to our sin. Check out these verses from Psalm:
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:11-12
That is so cool to me!
God promises us:
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake,and remembers your sins no more. Isaiah 43:25
This verse begs the question: If God can separate us from our sin, and can blot them out to remember them no more, why can't we? I think that in this world where everyone seems to be out only for themselves, and where so many people hold grudges or hold mistakes against us to prove their superiority, we forget the One who loves us most and whose love we should hungrily seek forgives and forgets. Did you get that? God forgives and forgets. What a lesson to learn! He who gave his son so that I might live not only made that supreme sacrifice, but He forgives me when I mess up and sees only the face of the Son, His Son, where my sin once was.
When I think back over the last few days, I realize that God allowed me to witness this concept in my own life, and I thank Him for it. I learned that asking for forgiveness from a co-worker, while not easy, was the right thing to do, and that it was ordained from my Father. What is more exciting, is the effect my apology has had both on me, and on the other person. The bridge that has been built between us gives me hope that maybe letting go does have merit. Not only in front of God, but between me and my fellow man.
That brings me to what I learned about letting these last few days.
4. Letting go of hurts you feel someone has committed against you, and confessing the sin in your life, is essential to being able to come to the Father and have true fellowship with Him. And, that should be the number one priority of our lives.
My children, if your brother or sister has ought against you, leave your place by My altar and go and be reconciled. And if you have ought against your brother, go to him and meet him on his way. Then shall I heal all the old and now hurts by this medicine you will put on each cut or bruise — an open and honest heart toward your brother and sister. But if you will not face that hurt your brother has inflicted on you with an open and honest heart before him, then shall the evil one come and pull you to the side and tempt you to nurse your hurts by another hearing brother or sister's side. And before you know it, you shall have soiled your garment and the garment of him who hears you with the soil of gossip. Matthew 5:23-24
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Prioritizing Your Life - Day 3
Today I write with a heavy heart because upon arriving at work this morning I found out that a friend I work with had passed away suddenly the Friday before while on vacation. She was one of those amazing people that you just enjoyed being around. Always happy. Sure of her place in God's love. And, passionate about what she did and the people in her life. When I think that just the week before she had been in my office getting help for someone she was working with, a tear comes to my eye. I have to admit that my first reaction was "You have got to be kidding me!" She was only 51, and (I will be 51 in a couple of month) it was only a little over a week ago that my brother and I had the conversation where he told me about the woman in his office who had passed away suddenly. Then, I found a sense of peace, cried for my friend's family and realized that there is a lesson here. A lesson about having our priorities right, and being first the person of God you have been called to be. Take a look at this verse:
LORD, make me to know my end
And what is the extent of my days;
Let me know how transient I am.
Psalm 39:4-5
David prayed to God to know how long his life would be, but, God didn't answer David, and he doesn't answer us - at least not directly. But, God does allow and ordain events in our lives and in the lives of those around us to give us a glimpse into what He has for us. I truly believe that God will do whatever He has to do to get His people to the place He wants us to be. I've been a part of that before. Remember, God tells us
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the LORD. 9(A) For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."Isaiah 55:8-9
It may seem harsh to us that God would allow something like that to happen, but He has a greater plan and one we can't understand. If one of us who knew either of these people examines our lives and makes a change that brings about more change in our life and in the lives of those around us, then neither life was lost in vain. But, we have to be willing to hear God's voice and to try to understand what it is that he wants us to learn from the passing of these lives. If all we get is that we don't know how long we have, then we've missed the message. Perhaps what it is that God is trying to tell us is that our priorities are not where He needs them to be, but where we want them to be. There is a difference yo know. And, that is what God wants us to realize. That brings us to lesson 3.
3. None of us knows if we have a tomorrow, so why are we so busy planning for it. Today is what matters. As my dad used to say, "No one who was dying ever said they wished they had more time to work." So, why is that what consumes us? That is not what God designed us for. He designed us to worship Him and to walk with Him. Yes, most of us have to work, but work must be what we do, not who we are.
I leave you today with this verse:
So do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34.
And, I say a tearful good-bye to someone I cared about but I know that in her death, God is drawing me and others who knew her closer to Him.
LORD, make me to know my end
And what is the extent of my days;
Let me know how transient I am.
Psalm 39:4-5
David prayed to God to know how long his life would be, but, God didn't answer David, and he doesn't answer us - at least not directly. But, God does allow and ordain events in our lives and in the lives of those around us to give us a glimpse into what He has for us. I truly believe that God will do whatever He has to do to get His people to the place He wants us to be. I've been a part of that before. Remember, God tells us
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the LORD. 9(A) For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."Isaiah 55:8-9
It may seem harsh to us that God would allow something like that to happen, but He has a greater plan and one we can't understand. If one of us who knew either of these people examines our lives and makes a change that brings about more change in our life and in the lives of those around us, then neither life was lost in vain. But, we have to be willing to hear God's voice and to try to understand what it is that he wants us to learn from the passing of these lives. If all we get is that we don't know how long we have, then we've missed the message. Perhaps what it is that God is trying to tell us is that our priorities are not where He needs them to be, but where we want them to be. There is a difference yo know. And, that is what God wants us to realize. That brings us to lesson 3.
3. None of us knows if we have a tomorrow, so why are we so busy planning for it. Today is what matters. As my dad used to say, "No one who was dying ever said they wished they had more time to work." So, why is that what consumes us? That is not what God designed us for. He designed us to worship Him and to walk with Him. Yes, most of us have to work, but work must be what we do, not who we are.
I leave you today with this verse:
So do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34.
And, I say a tearful good-bye to someone I cared about but I know that in her death, God is drawing me and others who knew her closer to Him.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Prioritizing your Life - Day 2
It's the weekend. And, in my continuing effort to let go of the things in my life that keep me from being who I want to be, I focused my attention yesterday on the people and past times that I love. I didn't look at my computer, didn't talk on my cell phone, didn't go shopping, and didn't miss any of them. I no longer have a facebook page, so I couldn't look at it, and although my husband has a new Droid that he is completely enamored with, I stayed away from it and from the need to play with all the toys that come with it. Why, you may ask when these tools only enhance your ability to communicate would I turn them off. The answer is simple and it goes back to yesterday's verse:
Thou shall have no other gods before Me. Exodus 20:3.
I had allowed the tools of technology to replace the lessons of life. And, in a way, to replace God in my hierarchy of need. If I could be in constant touch with people, then maybe I didn't need to spend time with God. And, in the busyness and noise of the tools I possessed, I couldn't hear his voice and realized that maybe I didn't want to. Maybe I didn't want to hear what he was telling me. Having things in my life that diverted my attention, kept me from doing what I knew God was calling me to do as explained in the following verse:
Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10
If I took the time to be still as I know the Bible commands us to do, then I had to listen to what I had been feeling that God was telling me, and if I listened and heard, then I had to obey. What if that meant I had to change something about my life. Or more importantly about myself. Was I ready to commit to that? I just wasn't sure. But, I knew and know that what I am currently doing isn't working for me, so what choice did I have. I know that I am living outside where God wants me and I know that getting back to my place in him could be painful emotionally and will leave me a different person. Am I willing to go there now? With all the tugs on my life already am I really ready to expose myself to becoming who He wants me to be instead of who I am comfortable being?
That's lesson 2, isn't it?
2. Be still and hear His voice. You are only living a life that is of value when you are living the life God has called you to live.
Thou shall have no other gods before Me. Exodus 20:3.
I had allowed the tools of technology to replace the lessons of life. And, in a way, to replace God in my hierarchy of need. If I could be in constant touch with people, then maybe I didn't need to spend time with God. And, in the busyness and noise of the tools I possessed, I couldn't hear his voice and realized that maybe I didn't want to. Maybe I didn't want to hear what he was telling me. Having things in my life that diverted my attention, kept me from doing what I knew God was calling me to do as explained in the following verse:
Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10
If I took the time to be still as I know the Bible commands us to do, then I had to listen to what I had been feeling that God was telling me, and if I listened and heard, then I had to obey. What if that meant I had to change something about my life. Or more importantly about myself. Was I ready to commit to that? I just wasn't sure. But, I knew and know that what I am currently doing isn't working for me, so what choice did I have. I know that I am living outside where God wants me and I know that getting back to my place in him could be painful emotionally and will leave me a different person. Am I willing to go there now? With all the tugs on my life already am I really ready to expose myself to becoming who He wants me to be instead of who I am comfortable being?
That's lesson 2, isn't it?
2. Be still and hear His voice. You are only living a life that is of value when you are living the life God has called you to live.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Prioritizing Your Life
Only take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, to love the Lord your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul. Joshua 22:5
I begin today's entry with this verse from Joshua because I believe it speaks volumes about how we should prioritize our lives. But, unfortunately, we often put God last or forget him completely when we are defining the priorities of our lives.
For the next few entries I want to look at the human reality of priorities and God's plan for priorities in our lives. As I have begun to look at this for myself, I have been broken and humbled before my God begging his forgiveness for the mess I've made of the life he has given me. I can't go back and undo the wasted time or the lost opportunities, but going forward I can be sure that my priorities for my life match his and not what the world thinks they should be.
How do we do that? First I believe we have to turn to scripture to understand what our true purpose for being here is, and for understanding how to fit the plan of God into the world of man. Not always easy to do you might say, but oh so worth it in the end.
The verse from Joshua sets up the plan perfectly, doesn't it? We are to "...love the Lord your God and walk in all his ways and keep his commandments." What's that you say, you do this. Really? Because I know I don't. What about this passage from Exodus. It should be familiar to you:
8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work; 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath unto the Lord thy God: [in it] thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy man-servant, nor thy maid-servant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 11 for in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it. Exodus 20:8-11
So, when was the last time you remembered the sabbath? You, like me, went to church last Sunday. That's it, right? Wrong. Oh how wrong we are. That is only the beginning of what this verse is saying and I (we) miss it all the time. Let me explain.
How many times did you check work email last Sunday? Did you check your work messages on Voice Mail? What about going shopping for groceries? Did you do that? Or, go to the mall to check out the latest sales? Maybe you actually went in to the office on Sunday. Why? Who told you that you needed to do that? Did it really help you get ahead for the week? If God created the entire world in six days and then rested on the sabbath, are you saying that you are more important than God? That without you, your work will go undone and people will be disappointed? Don't even go there!
So, this is the first lesson in prioritizing your life: You shall have no other gods before Me. Exodus 20:3
1. Put nothing before God. Not your family, not your friends, and especially, not your job. Give to Him first, not last, and He will make the way straight for you.
I begin today's entry with this verse from Joshua because I believe it speaks volumes about how we should prioritize our lives. But, unfortunately, we often put God last or forget him completely when we are defining the priorities of our lives.
For the next few entries I want to look at the human reality of priorities and God's plan for priorities in our lives. As I have begun to look at this for myself, I have been broken and humbled before my God begging his forgiveness for the mess I've made of the life he has given me. I can't go back and undo the wasted time or the lost opportunities, but going forward I can be sure that my priorities for my life match his and not what the world thinks they should be.
How do we do that? First I believe we have to turn to scripture to understand what our true purpose for being here is, and for understanding how to fit the plan of God into the world of man. Not always easy to do you might say, but oh so worth it in the end.
The verse from Joshua sets up the plan perfectly, doesn't it? We are to "...love the Lord your God and walk in all his ways and keep his commandments." What's that you say, you do this. Really? Because I know I don't. What about this passage from Exodus. It should be familiar to you:
8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work; 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath unto the Lord thy God: [in it] thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy man-servant, nor thy maid-servant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 11 for in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it. Exodus 20:8-11
So, when was the last time you remembered the sabbath? You, like me, went to church last Sunday. That's it, right? Wrong. Oh how wrong we are. That is only the beginning of what this verse is saying and I (we) miss it all the time. Let me explain.
How many times did you check work email last Sunday? Did you check your work messages on Voice Mail? What about going shopping for groceries? Did you do that? Or, go to the mall to check out the latest sales? Maybe you actually went in to the office on Sunday. Why? Who told you that you needed to do that? Did it really help you get ahead for the week? If God created the entire world in six days and then rested on the sabbath, are you saying that you are more important than God? That without you, your work will go undone and people will be disappointed? Don't even go there!
So, this is the first lesson in prioritizing your life: You shall have no other gods before Me. Exodus 20:3
1. Put nothing before God. Not your family, not your friends, and especially, not your job. Give to Him first, not last, and He will make the way straight for you.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Take Back Control of Your Time
My brother and I had a conversation a couple of weeks ago about the expectations of the work world and how to survive it. Out of that came my idea to pursue the subject of "Learning to Let Go". I want to begin today by recounting our conversation to you, and would welcome your comments and stories as well. My goal is to take all the stories and hints out there and turn them into a self-help book for the sandwich generation so that we can try to sail into our twilight years in peace and harmony rather than in chaos and frustration. I hope you enjoy the journey with me as I learn to let go.
So, my brother told me about this day he had a work and I couldn't believe it. After that conversation I knew that it was time to develop a way to take back control of my time. Here is what he told me:
J got to work at 7:30am on that Thursday morning, turned on his computer, checked his email and already had 150 emails. He had a meeting at 8am, so he didn't really have time to answer any of the emails. After his meeting, at 10am, he went back to his desk and started working on email except that now the number had multiplied to 300! He answered about half and then had another meeting from 11am-1pm. At 1pm her ate lunch at his desk and continued to work through his email until his next meeting, a conference call, at 2:30pm. That call lasted over an hour and he once again tackled email after the call. He worked on email and answering phone calls until 5pm when he had yet another conference call with a client in California. He finished up this call at around 6:30pm and drove home just so he could get on the phone with another client in California who was having issues. During this call J continued to receive emails from clients on the West Coast and attempted to answer them as best he could. At approximately 9pm as he was finishing up the call, he saw an email beep on his computer and checked it since it was from his corporate office in California. The email was an announcement that one of the people in their finance department, who my brother worked with, had died. Death happens you say. Well, yeah, it does. But this woman was 44 years old! J had talked to her only a couple of weeks before and then she missed their next call because she was out sick. Turns out she had an aneurysm and had been in an induced coma to try to relieve the pressure in her head. It was unsuccessful, caused a second aneurysm and she passed away.
What a day, you say... How would you respond to this news? Well, it got his attention, and mine as well. But what do we do with that? How do we take back our lives and our time so that we don't end up dying before we've really finished living? That's what I want to try to help people do. Claim their lives. Take back their time, and set parameters that allow them to be people first and employees second.
Let's pick up J's story with the following morning. He had a doctor's appointment the next morning at 8am. By the time he arrived at his office at 10am, one of those clients from the day before had escalated an issue he hadn't even had a chance to see to his Senior Vice President and accused him of not doing his job. His comment to me, "I knew I should have checked email this morning, but I overslept because I was up so late the day before."
WHAT!!!
Where is the common decency that used to exist in the world? Why did this person feel the need to escalate before hearing from J? What makes it okay that his company expects him to work these hours and then reprimands him because the call was escalated when he had no opportunity to do anything about it? It would be different if my brother was an executive with his company, and keeping these kinds of hours you might think he is, but he isn't. He is an Account Manager who makes less that $60,000 a year. What is up with this? I want to develop a plan for companies and employees, but more importantly for people to relearn how to be civil to each other and how to respect boundaries.
Join me, won't you?
Lynn
So, my brother told me about this day he had a work and I couldn't believe it. After that conversation I knew that it was time to develop a way to take back control of my time. Here is what he told me:
J got to work at 7:30am on that Thursday morning, turned on his computer, checked his email and already had 150 emails. He had a meeting at 8am, so he didn't really have time to answer any of the emails. After his meeting, at 10am, he went back to his desk and started working on email except that now the number had multiplied to 300! He answered about half and then had another meeting from 11am-1pm. At 1pm her ate lunch at his desk and continued to work through his email until his next meeting, a conference call, at 2:30pm. That call lasted over an hour and he once again tackled email after the call. He worked on email and answering phone calls until 5pm when he had yet another conference call with a client in California. He finished up this call at around 6:30pm and drove home just so he could get on the phone with another client in California who was having issues. During this call J continued to receive emails from clients on the West Coast and attempted to answer them as best he could. At approximately 9pm as he was finishing up the call, he saw an email beep on his computer and checked it since it was from his corporate office in California. The email was an announcement that one of the people in their finance department, who my brother worked with, had died. Death happens you say. Well, yeah, it does. But this woman was 44 years old! J had talked to her only a couple of weeks before and then she missed their next call because she was out sick. Turns out she had an aneurysm and had been in an induced coma to try to relieve the pressure in her head. It was unsuccessful, caused a second aneurysm and she passed away.
What a day, you say... How would you respond to this news? Well, it got his attention, and mine as well. But what do we do with that? How do we take back our lives and our time so that we don't end up dying before we've really finished living? That's what I want to try to help people do. Claim their lives. Take back their time, and set parameters that allow them to be people first and employees second.
Let's pick up J's story with the following morning. He had a doctor's appointment the next morning at 8am. By the time he arrived at his office at 10am, one of those clients from the day before had escalated an issue he hadn't even had a chance to see to his Senior Vice President and accused him of not doing his job. His comment to me, "I knew I should have checked email this morning, but I overslept because I was up so late the day before."
WHAT!!!
Where is the common decency that used to exist in the world? Why did this person feel the need to escalate before hearing from J? What makes it okay that his company expects him to work these hours and then reprimands him because the call was escalated when he had no opportunity to do anything about it? It would be different if my brother was an executive with his company, and keeping these kinds of hours you might think he is, but he isn't. He is an Account Manager who makes less that $60,000 a year. What is up with this? I want to develop a plan for companies and employees, but more importantly for people to relearn how to be civil to each other and how to respect boundaries.
Join me, won't you?
Lynn
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