I got another one of those calls from the nursing home the other day, but this one came at 5:15am on a Saturday morning. The question the nurse asked me took me by surprise and I was at once consumed with anger and frustration. Not a great way to start a Saturday, or any day for that matter, but unfortunately the way many of my days begin. Although I had plans with friends to run a race that morning and to go an outdoor festival later in the day, I found myself instead showering hurriedly and rushing to see what was up with mom. What I found was her in pain and sunburned because someone had been negligent the day before. Turned out the burns were second degree, and we spent most of the day in the ER pumping her full of fluids so that she wouldn't dehydrate and go into shock. I was a basket case, and all she wanted to know was when the plane was going to land. She was tired of flying and wanted to go home.
Why do I tell you this story? Because God is teaching me a valuable lesson through this experience. The lesson... I am not in control. He is. You'd think I would have learned this one by now, wouldn't you, but apparently I haven't. Because He keeps bringing it back again and again and I keep failing miserably.
The reason I fail is because I drop everything and go to her thinking that my presence will make a difference. As if I alone can make her better even though the Parkinson's and dementia continue to take her further and further from me. Maybe if I give up everything else and martyr myself to her, then I can change the outcome of this drama we are living.
God sees if differently. And He intends to keep replaying this scene as many times as it takes for me to understand. He controls this, not me. He decides when and where and how the final chapter will be played and no amount of sacrifice I make will change that. David tells us in Psalm 51:16-17:
You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.
The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
So far God hasn't gotten that from me. What He has gotten is frustration, indignation, pleading and begging. Not once have I come before Him broken asking Him to show me what He wants me to do in this situation. Not once have I admitted to Him that I am not in control. I have bargained, promised and cursed, but not given up control. And, He is making it more and more plain to me that until I do, we will continue to play out this chapter of the story until I get it right.
He has reminded me many times this week that He doesn't need me to rescue my mom or my husband or my children. What He does command me to do is to worship Him. To be the woman He created me to be and to let Him be the God that He desires to be in my life. I am reminded over and over that I am the one with the problem here, not Him.
So today's lesson in prioritizing your life is this:
5. Give God control of ALL areas of your life so that He can be glorified in all you do and all you are. He is God, you are not. Listen for His voice and hear Him. As David prays in Psalm 130:5-6:
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
Showing posts with label priorities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label priorities. Show all posts
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Prioritizing Your Life - Day 4
So, Thursday on my way to work my phone rings. It is the charge nurse at the nursing home where my mom lives, and it is never good when she calls. When I see the number on my caller id, the guilt immediately sets in. I hadn't seen mom since the weekend and if something had happened, I knew I would never be able to forgive myself. I had only left my doctor (whose office is two blocks from the nursing home) five minutes before, but didn't stop to visit because I didn't want to miss any more work. So much for learning to let go!!!
I answered the call with trepidation, worried about what I would hear on the other end. The nurse's voice was apologetic as she told me that mom had fallen again trying to get out of bed by herself! The woman hasn't been able to walk in two years and yet she is thinking she can get up and dress herself. I was assured that mom was okay, only bruised, and so I went on to work. These calls have become way too routine over the last couple of years for me to continue to drop everything and run to her side when I get a call that she has fallen. I saw my mom that afternoon after work, and sure enough, she was fine. Bruised badly, totally in another time, but happy as a lark. All she wanted to know was if my son had ever shown back up from his trip to Australia, and when was he going to come visit her! Talk about learning to let go.
There are times when I am envious of my mom for so quickly being able to forget the bad things that happen to her and being able to focus on just what is important (in this case, seeing her grandson). Although dementia is a horrible disease, in this instance it reminds me of how God responds to our sin. Check out these verses from Psalm:
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:11-12
That is so cool to me!
God promises us:
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake,and remembers your sins no more. Isaiah 43:25
This verse begs the question: If God can separate us from our sin, and can blot them out to remember them no more, why can't we? I think that in this world where everyone seems to be out only for themselves, and where so many people hold grudges or hold mistakes against us to prove their superiority, we forget the One who loves us most and whose love we should hungrily seek forgives and forgets. Did you get that? God forgives and forgets. What a lesson to learn! He who gave his son so that I might live not only made that supreme sacrifice, but He forgives me when I mess up and sees only the face of the Son, His Son, where my sin once was.
When I think back over the last few days, I realize that God allowed me to witness this concept in my own life, and I thank Him for it. I learned that asking for forgiveness from a co-worker, while not easy, was the right thing to do, and that it was ordained from my Father. What is more exciting, is the effect my apology has had both on me, and on the other person. The bridge that has been built between us gives me hope that maybe letting go does have merit. Not only in front of God, but between me and my fellow man.
That brings me to what I learned about letting these last few days.
4. Letting go of hurts you feel someone has committed against you, and confessing the sin in your life, is essential to being able to come to the Father and have true fellowship with Him. And, that should be the number one priority of our lives.
My children, if your brother or sister has ought against you, leave your place by My altar and go and be reconciled. And if you have ought against your brother, go to him and meet him on his way. Then shall I heal all the old and now hurts by this medicine you will put on each cut or bruise — an open and honest heart toward your brother and sister. But if you will not face that hurt your brother has inflicted on you with an open and honest heart before him, then shall the evil one come and pull you to the side and tempt you to nurse your hurts by another hearing brother or sister's side. And before you know it, you shall have soiled your garment and the garment of him who hears you with the soil of gossip. Matthew 5:23-24
I answered the call with trepidation, worried about what I would hear on the other end. The nurse's voice was apologetic as she told me that mom had fallen again trying to get out of bed by herself! The woman hasn't been able to walk in two years and yet she is thinking she can get up and dress herself. I was assured that mom was okay, only bruised, and so I went on to work. These calls have become way too routine over the last couple of years for me to continue to drop everything and run to her side when I get a call that she has fallen. I saw my mom that afternoon after work, and sure enough, she was fine. Bruised badly, totally in another time, but happy as a lark. All she wanted to know was if my son had ever shown back up from his trip to Australia, and when was he going to come visit her! Talk about learning to let go.
There are times when I am envious of my mom for so quickly being able to forget the bad things that happen to her and being able to focus on just what is important (in this case, seeing her grandson). Although dementia is a horrible disease, in this instance it reminds me of how God responds to our sin. Check out these verses from Psalm:
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:11-12
That is so cool to me!
God promises us:
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake,and remembers your sins no more. Isaiah 43:25
This verse begs the question: If God can separate us from our sin, and can blot them out to remember them no more, why can't we? I think that in this world where everyone seems to be out only for themselves, and where so many people hold grudges or hold mistakes against us to prove their superiority, we forget the One who loves us most and whose love we should hungrily seek forgives and forgets. Did you get that? God forgives and forgets. What a lesson to learn! He who gave his son so that I might live not only made that supreme sacrifice, but He forgives me when I mess up and sees only the face of the Son, His Son, where my sin once was.
When I think back over the last few days, I realize that God allowed me to witness this concept in my own life, and I thank Him for it. I learned that asking for forgiveness from a co-worker, while not easy, was the right thing to do, and that it was ordained from my Father. What is more exciting, is the effect my apology has had both on me, and on the other person. The bridge that has been built between us gives me hope that maybe letting go does have merit. Not only in front of God, but between me and my fellow man.
That brings me to what I learned about letting these last few days.
4. Letting go of hurts you feel someone has committed against you, and confessing the sin in your life, is essential to being able to come to the Father and have true fellowship with Him. And, that should be the number one priority of our lives.
My children, if your brother or sister has ought against you, leave your place by My altar and go and be reconciled. And if you have ought against your brother, go to him and meet him on his way. Then shall I heal all the old and now hurts by this medicine you will put on each cut or bruise — an open and honest heart toward your brother and sister. But if you will not face that hurt your brother has inflicted on you with an open and honest heart before him, then shall the evil one come and pull you to the side and tempt you to nurse your hurts by another hearing brother or sister's side. And before you know it, you shall have soiled your garment and the garment of him who hears you with the soil of gossip. Matthew 5:23-24
Friday, March 12, 2010
Prioritizing Your Life
Only take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, to love the Lord your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul. Joshua 22:5
I begin today's entry with this verse from Joshua because I believe it speaks volumes about how we should prioritize our lives. But, unfortunately, we often put God last or forget him completely when we are defining the priorities of our lives.
For the next few entries I want to look at the human reality of priorities and God's plan for priorities in our lives. As I have begun to look at this for myself, I have been broken and humbled before my God begging his forgiveness for the mess I've made of the life he has given me. I can't go back and undo the wasted time or the lost opportunities, but going forward I can be sure that my priorities for my life match his and not what the world thinks they should be.
How do we do that? First I believe we have to turn to scripture to understand what our true purpose for being here is, and for understanding how to fit the plan of God into the world of man. Not always easy to do you might say, but oh so worth it in the end.
The verse from Joshua sets up the plan perfectly, doesn't it? We are to "...love the Lord your God and walk in all his ways and keep his commandments." What's that you say, you do this. Really? Because I know I don't. What about this passage from Exodus. It should be familiar to you:
8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work; 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath unto the Lord thy God: [in it] thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy man-servant, nor thy maid-servant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 11 for in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it. Exodus 20:8-11
So, when was the last time you remembered the sabbath? You, like me, went to church last Sunday. That's it, right? Wrong. Oh how wrong we are. That is only the beginning of what this verse is saying and I (we) miss it all the time. Let me explain.
How many times did you check work email last Sunday? Did you check your work messages on Voice Mail? What about going shopping for groceries? Did you do that? Or, go to the mall to check out the latest sales? Maybe you actually went in to the office on Sunday. Why? Who told you that you needed to do that? Did it really help you get ahead for the week? If God created the entire world in six days and then rested on the sabbath, are you saying that you are more important than God? That without you, your work will go undone and people will be disappointed? Don't even go there!
So, this is the first lesson in prioritizing your life: You shall have no other gods before Me. Exodus 20:3
1. Put nothing before God. Not your family, not your friends, and especially, not your job. Give to Him first, not last, and He will make the way straight for you.
I begin today's entry with this verse from Joshua because I believe it speaks volumes about how we should prioritize our lives. But, unfortunately, we often put God last or forget him completely when we are defining the priorities of our lives.
For the next few entries I want to look at the human reality of priorities and God's plan for priorities in our lives. As I have begun to look at this for myself, I have been broken and humbled before my God begging his forgiveness for the mess I've made of the life he has given me. I can't go back and undo the wasted time or the lost opportunities, but going forward I can be sure that my priorities for my life match his and not what the world thinks they should be.
How do we do that? First I believe we have to turn to scripture to understand what our true purpose for being here is, and for understanding how to fit the plan of God into the world of man. Not always easy to do you might say, but oh so worth it in the end.
The verse from Joshua sets up the plan perfectly, doesn't it? We are to "...love the Lord your God and walk in all his ways and keep his commandments." What's that you say, you do this. Really? Because I know I don't. What about this passage from Exodus. It should be familiar to you:
8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9 Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work; 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath unto the Lord thy God: [in it] thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy man-servant, nor thy maid-servant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 11 for in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it. Exodus 20:8-11
So, when was the last time you remembered the sabbath? You, like me, went to church last Sunday. That's it, right? Wrong. Oh how wrong we are. That is only the beginning of what this verse is saying and I (we) miss it all the time. Let me explain.
How many times did you check work email last Sunday? Did you check your work messages on Voice Mail? What about going shopping for groceries? Did you do that? Or, go to the mall to check out the latest sales? Maybe you actually went in to the office on Sunday. Why? Who told you that you needed to do that? Did it really help you get ahead for the week? If God created the entire world in six days and then rested on the sabbath, are you saying that you are more important than God? That without you, your work will go undone and people will be disappointed? Don't even go there!
So, this is the first lesson in prioritizing your life: You shall have no other gods before Me. Exodus 20:3
1. Put nothing before God. Not your family, not your friends, and especially, not your job. Give to Him first, not last, and He will make the way straight for you.
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